My sweet Gram

Another year has flown right by us. Wow! Crazy how time flies.   One of the things I am most thankful for this year is my sweet Gram. Grams has blessed us with her life for 99 years now. Although that is such a long time, selfishly I long for even more years with her.  My mother was scared that she might not make it through Christmas, as she has gotten weaker over the last few months, and took a very hard fall 2 weeks before Christmas. Even though she amazingly didn't break any bones, it has indeed affected her worse than we thought.

Here's a little brief history of my grandmother. She is the picture of health for a 99 yr old woman. She hasn't been to the doctor in probably 6 years?  The only reason she went then is because she got an infected hand------a very crazy thing that we think she got from one of her plants in her greenhouse.  Other than that, CHF is one of the only things she has had. 

Matt told my mother that when she got closer to death, most likely something would affect her that would cause her to just get weaker and weaker and never recuperated from it. I'm scard this is it. My Gram continues to live at home, although my mom is only 1//2 mile down the road. My mother watches after her daily and is basically her nurse. My sweet mom runs her legs off for everyone in  the community, never taking time out to breathe, much less take care of herself. Ironically, she gets it from my Gram :)

Well, Gram did make it through Christmas, but unfortunately 2 days after Christmas she started taking a turn for the worse. She is not one to stay in the bed, but she is now too weak to get up.  My mother got a hospital bed for her, and she is staying at her house most of the time now. Bless her heart, I think she knew we wanted her to hold on through Christmas.

I worry about my mother. A friend told my mother that she needed to let Gram know that it is ok for her to pass when she is ready. Sometimes, that seems to help somehow. Selfishly, this must be extremely hard for my mother. We had a talk and my mother knows she has to do this. She doesn't want to see Gram in pain. A doctor can't help with much, so Matt told her there's no sense in taking her to the hospital. All there is to do now is just pray that God will take her painlessly when He is ready. 

Wow. That last line really hurt to type. My Gram is like my second mother. She raised me and I stayed with her every day until I started kindergarten. I even lived with her a couple years as a teenager when she had some mild inner ear problems. I would cook us dinner every night and watch TV and sleep right beside her in the bed next to hers.

I have never heard her say a curse word. Ever.  I have never really watched her lose her temper. Ever.  Amazing woman. No words can even begin to describe it unless you have been blessed to know her. To know her is to love her, without a doubt. So  unselfish and caring. So non-materialistic and others-centered.  Such a nature lover and simple heart. The best biscuit and bacon maker on the planet. These are just a few things to describe her. 

Oh how I hate  to think about her not being on this earth. I am crying as I even write this because it bothers me so much. We must all be strong for her though. She would not want us to worry about her. i so wished that my children could have grown to meet her and love her. This saddens me so much.  She deserves to not hurt at all and to see Grandaddy when she is ready. Her body is tired and worn down. She has outlived every one of her friends and that must be so  hard for her.  What a party will be waiting for her when she gets to heaven :)  That makes me smile when I think of that.  So, I will dwell on the happiness of that instead of the sadness for now.