"I Want to Know What Love Is"

Every Sunday that I attend Pinelake I continue to be amazed at how Chip Henderson has a way of getting things JUST right, when it comes to speaking to your heart. He is the first pastor in which I have been able to follow along so closely, and not let my mind wander just a little during the service. Chip has a way of putting the Sunday message into a way where you can understand it. Not only this, but he does it in a way in which he is careful not to "scream" the message or place blame on you, making you feel judged. He does it in a way that allows you to WANT to change and become closer to God, not leave the church feeling scolded as if you are such a sinner that you can never be perfect enough to change.

Below is Chip's sermon from yesterday. It was titled, "I want to know what love is." Chip is preaching on a "Sex Series" lately. This is a tough subject for most, but we all need and should hear it.

Here are a few things summarized in my own words from yesterday:

Chip says great lovers don't look for Mr. or Ms. Right. They ARE Mr./Ms. Right. Meaning, no one can fulfill you like you wish. Only God. Understand that you are ALREADY loved and provided for by God. Don't go searching for love elsewhere. Don't place demands on another person with intentions of them being "Mr. Right". If you become a woman of God, and place your burdens and worries on God, there is no need for a "Mr. Right." It's a choice you must make for yourself--to let God become everything you need.

We must also live our life like God. We should love without expecting ANYTHING in return. It's not about me. It's not about what anyone can do for me. It's about a conscious act to love someone every day, without any expectations in return. A choice to love someone, regardless of what they can offer in return.

Chip says we have a choice to be a Drainer or a Filler, meaning we can drain the energy from another, or we can fill them up with energy and peace. I don't want to be a "drainer." I want to be and desire to be a filler. Sometimes my actions speak louder I'm afraid, and I become that "drainer" I don't like to be. I come from a family of worriers, and I believe most women's personalities make them very needy, too needy. I sometimes feel like I need to voice, or think that I need to voice, my stressors in life, my distractions, my worries to my husband. I need to watch this again and again, so that when I become that "needy, draining wife", I must learn to stop myself and DO something about it. I need to stop right there and pray to God, "Lord, help me to not be needy. Help me to be selfless and Christ-like." Always take it to God FIRST.

No partner can, or should, be able to provide for all of your needs. Chip gave the advice to not marry someone you can't wait to go to bed with. Marry someone you can't wait to wake up to. 99% of life is spent OUTSIDE the bedroom. Therefore, if you base a relationship or marriage off sex, it will fail every time.

Chip reminds us in the message that the Lord is the only provider we should EVER need. That is so true; yet, it is easy to forget, especially when you are stressed and caught up in many tasks throughout the day. You want to place the blame on someone, or you want to vent to anyone who will listen to you.

Wow------So, so true. It really spoke to me yesterday. "It's not about me." It's not about what someone can do for me. It's about how I can live for God everyday. If you and your spouse seek to live for Him everyday and grow closer to Him, you will automatically grow closer together, not farther apart over time. This growing apart is gradual, Chip says. It comes over time. But if we continue to live for God, that gradual growing apart cannot happen if we are truly seeking love from Him first. I believe Chip called it the Love Triangle. If you and your spouse are both looking up for love, you will automatically grow towards each other, like a pyramid. If you do not look up to God FIRST for love, you will find yourself growing in a reverse pyramid. How do you keep that from happening? A third person. The Lord. Each spouse takes a daily walk closer to God, and everyday they take another step towards Him. Over time, the spouses become one. To walk in love is not a giddy fairy-tale. A walk in love means that you will give of YOURSELF for someone else's welfare. Christ has done that for us. He modeled that for us. He says to take His example and give it to another, as He has done for you.

Chip says it's not enough to just say that you will "make it work" over time. That's not enough. We must look to God with everything, take everything to God. I can see how over time, with the full-time duties of careers, children, home responsibilities, friends, hobbies, etc, where spouses can grow slowly apart. I don't like to even think about this. That's why it's important to DO something about it daily. Pray. Walk with God through everything. Love your spouse without expecting anything in return. Be selfless, not selfish. I have to work on this. We are a selfish people. It does not happen easily. We must constantly work on it.

I am far from perfect. I have many faults. I thank God for bringing Matt into my life everyday. I thank Him for allowing Matt to love me, and not care if I am perfect, only that I am perfect for him. If I, and my spouse, work on it daily, our love will grow closer together.

Lord, bless our marriage. Make me become "Mrs. Right" more and more every day, with open hands, an open heart, and an open mind to receive what You say.



I hope you enjoy this as much as I did and the sermon challenges you to be a better lover.

June 20: "I Want To Know What Love Is" from Pinelake Church on Vimeo.